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The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. Loving Yourself ~ A How-To Guide Over the years, I have beaten myself up over business break- downs, lost relationships, and countless other failures. I would only look at what I had done wrong and where I was at fault. And, of course, this would only make me feel worse. People would tell me, “Rob, you need to love yourself.” Wow, that sounded great, but the problem was I didn’t know what it meant. I knew they didn’t mean I should be self-absorbed or narcissistic. I also knew it didn’t mean soothing myself with several shots of whiskey. I understood how to love others - at least the feeling that made me want to give attention, caring, respect to someone - but feeling it for myself? I was completely confused on where to even begin. It took me years to learn, but I finally did; and I would like to share with you what I found. Acknowledge Your Gifts and Talents. Whether you realize it or not, you have knowledge and skills other people do not have. Work with your strengths. Find ways to share these with others for fun and fortune. Be True to Yourself. I’ve written about this before. Pursue your passions. Find work you genuinely enjoy. When you do what you love, you will be so fulfilled you’ll never again watch the clock in anticipation of quitting time. Also, by following your own interests, you will attract people who share your excitement, dedication, and joy. Focus on the Positive. Eliminate your bad habit of only focusing on the negative aspects of your life because it makes those things seem disproportionately important. I have friends who are police officers, and I see how their constant dealing with criminals has tainted their view of people and tends to make them see nearly everyone as bad. Make a habit of observing the good things in your life every day. Correct Negative Self-Beliefs. Self-perception will affect the outcome of your pursuits and can determine success or failure. Henry Ford said, “If you believe you can or believe you can’t; you’re right.” A positive self-belief will produce confidence and success. A negative self-belief in our abilities will make us flinch in the moment of opportunity. Often, we unconsciously broadcast our self-belief which affects the way others perceive and treat us. A hindering self-belief of “I am not good enough” can be resolved with positive affirmations, visualization, and tallying up your successes regardless of size. Carefully Choose Who You Spend Time With. You may not have a choice who you work with, but you definitely choose your personal relationships. If you’re spending your free time with abusive people, then you are abusing yourself. Spend your time with loving people who are not judgmental. Pick friends who are supportive, caring, and accept you for who you are. Don’t Take Crap fromAnyone. If you find yourself with someone who is disrespectful to you, let them know you do not appreciate being treated that way. If they continue, simply remove yourself from the situation. Don’t allow jerks to ruin your good feelings. Own Your Feelings. People would tell me to “feel my feelings.” Again, another concept I had difficulty understanding. The trick is to acknowledge your feelings, and understand they are normal. If you feel like crying - find some privacy and cry. Work to understand why you feel as you do. Don’t numb your feelings with drugs or alcohol. Don’t Judge Yourself Because You Have Feelings. Having feelings is normal. You should not feel guilty about them. If you have to cry, it does not make you less of a person. LearnWhat Your FeelingsAre Telling You. Your feelings are communicating im- portant information to you. Just like physical pain tells you when you have an illness or an injury, emotional pain is telling you some- thing you are doing is not right for you. Take Care of Yourself in All Areas. Eat well, exercise, get proper rest. Maintain a clean and uncluttered home and work environment. Spend money within your means. When your health, home, and fi- nances are in order, not only do you have less to worry about - you are sending a constant positive message to yourself that everything is okay. Robert michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com 2",/ # / 4%,/#03 $ ',+$ 5 ,4"$+1$/ ,,- -2*- *,#2 $0 /$ 3 ! $ %,/ !,1' /$0 #$+1 +# ",**$/" &/,2+# ,,- '$ 1 +& +# ",, +& 0601$*0 ,*- 1 ! $ 4 1' 1'$0$ -2*-0 ,4"$+1$/0 " + !$ ",+ % &2/$# 4 1' ,/ -2*- 2+ 10 1, * 1"' # % %$/$+1 , # /$.2 /$*$+10 /,#2"10 +" 2#$ ,4"$+1$/0 7 $,1'$/* ,0$# ,,- 11 +&0 7 $- "$*$+1 2*-0 7 ,0$ 10 +# ""$00,/ $0 7 / ! $ -$$# 2*-0 %576 /2'%7)( %1( 63%5)6 3529-()( *25 );-67-1+ )48-30)17 ? 527%5< 7%&/)6 12: 352(8')( :-7, /%5+) 5-1+ +)%5 %1( 3-1-21 ))( !)3%-56 !27%5< 7%&/)6 = 8( 38036 = %.25 '20321)176 1-( 5-// "<67)06 1' $) %5) ()(-'%7)( 72 7,) :%7)5 :)// -1(8675< $ ,)67187 9) 1-( ,21) %; ::: )1-((5-// '20 21@7 *25+)7 5()5 <285 '23< 2* >#5%16*)5 2* #)',12/2+<? :5-77)1 &< 2,1 @ 632-5 58 MARCH 2016 WorldWide Drilling Resource ®