WorldWide Drilling Resource

Through the Front Door! by Jim Kuebelbeck Pilots I happen to be a water dowser, and my wife and I are pilots as well. A number of readers of WorldWide happen to be pilots also, and might enjoy the following quips sent to me by a fellow pilot: “It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.” “If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn them back off.” “If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger; if you pull the stick back, they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back; then they get bigger again.)” “The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.” “Everyone already knows the definition of a “good” landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a ”great” landing. It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.” “You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.” “Those who hoot with the owls at night should not fly with the eagles by day.” “Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly the earth repels them.” “Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you, and the runway behind you.” “The difference between God and a fighter pilot is God doesn't really think he's a fighter pilot.” “Flying is not dangerous, but crashing certainly is.” “Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports, he can easily be sold Niagara Falls.” “Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.” “Being a pilot is not so much a profession as it is a disease.” “There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” “It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.” “Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.” “It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.” “Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.” “A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's much worse.” “It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.” “A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.” “The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the “down” position.” “Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.” “Takeoffs are optional, but landings are always mandatory.” “There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are never any old bold pilots!” The statements and comments in this article are based on information and ref- erences believed to be true and factual. If you have any questions or comments, please forward them to me in care of WWDR . Jim Jim Kuebelbeck may be contacted via e-mail to michele@worldwidedrillingresource.com 15 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® DECEMBER 2017