WorldWide Drilling Resource

The “Idiots” Corner by “Billy Bob Smith” I don’t know about you, but I am so tired of misleading advertising, extrava- gant promises, and idiotic, stupid com- mercials that say whatever they think they need to, to try and get our business. I’m not going to mention any names as I don’t want to get myself or the staff in trouble, but I’m sure you will recognize some of these. Also, let me say: Every one of these has been used multiple times in the recent past on TV, radio, or in print. Here we go . . . ; “Get paid twice as fast.” Can you guarantee that? ; “We all love video doorbells.” Does that mean no one doesn’t like them? Come on, saying “we all” is a bit out there! ; “I am a customer of theirs for life.” Really? What if they go out of business, change their requirements, or ___? ; “Your privacy is 100% protected.” I’m not even going to give this one any energy! ; “Your security and safety are our number one concern.” Well, I have to tell you from personal experience with your or- ganization, this is nowhere close to the truth. ; “The new ____ is the most exotic ____ on the market today.” Sorry folks - not even close. Had enough or would you like a few more? Trust me, I could go on for pages with this garbage. How about a few special words used: “deluxe” (exactly what is deluxe), “always & never” (seriously), “low fat” (it wasn’t for me), “lose ____ in so many days” (I didn’t come close), “We guarantee 9 out of 10 people will ____.” (are you sure?). ; “ ____ will find all your classmates.” Yeah, right. ; “This ____ cream will make you look 30 years younger.” Didn’t make me look a day younger! ; “If you are experiencing ____, this is guaranteed to make you ____ again.” I’m not going there with this one. You figure it out! Why can advertisers/commercials lie and get away with this stuff? - i.e. “Our product is the best on the market.” Why isn't this garbage against the law? Okay, one more I want to get off my chest before I say adios: “This will make you live longer.” So that means I’ll get to be exposed to more of your stuff for more years - thanks a lot! If you have any stupid examples you would like to share that make you a crazy person . . . go for it, dude! Billy Bob Contact him via e-mail to michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com 21 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® SEPTEMBER 2019 “If you always tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said.” ~Mark Twain “I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” ~Al Pacino November Issue Deadlines! Space Reservation: September 25 th Display & Classified Ad Copy: October 1 st