WorldWide Drilling Resource

25 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® APRIL 2014 The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. The Perfect Poison to Success - My Parenting, Perfectionism, and Procrastination Mike passed the stack of test papers over his back to me. The teacher in- structed us to begin. It started out easy enough; all I had to do was select the proper word, from two or three choices, to complete a sentence. I quickly an- swered several when I hit a roadblock. Suddenly, I could not remember the dif- ference between “want” and “went.” My mind was going, “I know this; I studied this; why can’t I think of it.” Worst of all I thought, “I have to get this right.” I raised my hand and asked the teacher for help. She explained she couldn’t help me because it was a test. I looked at the two words again and again. The more I looked at them, the more I got confused. They began to look like the same word. Have you ever said a word over and over until it sounds like gibberish? That’s what was hap- pening to me. The teacher announced we had just a few more minutes to finish the test, and I still hadn’t gotten past this one question. I realized I wasn’t even going to be able to finish the test. I panicked, and began to cry. I was six years old in first grade; and I was already a perfec- tionist. That perfectionism spilled over into every aspect of my life. The problem is, kids don’t become perfectionists on their own. It begins with a critical parent who pushes their children to succeed, often for the sake of their own pride and glo- rification. My parents were constantly raising the bar. I may have cried over tests, but my sister’s perfectionism went even higher. She made straight A’s all the way through elementary school, high school, and college, but not with- out a price. She was hospitalized twice with stomach ulcers from the stress. Perfectionism is a demotivator. It can cause someone to sacrifice their goals too soon. Perfectionism also leads to procrastination. Surprising to many, procrastination has nothing to do with laziness. I recall many times as a young man having trouble beginning a proj- ect. I would gather all the materials I would need. I’d go over the instructions multiple times, but was reticent about taking the first step. Deep down inside of me was doubt - doubt I could accom- plish the task without flaws. Knowing it wouldn’t be perfect prevented me from even starting. As a writer it would manifest with me doing tons of research, taking copi- ous notes, mapping out extensive out- lines, but hesitating over writing the first paragraph. When I did actually write something, I would never show it to any- one. I feared the criticism. If it were not for the compliments from my teachers in high school on essays I “had” to turn in, I may never have developed the confidence to become a professional writer. I began both my writing and speak- ing careers as a perfectionist. Over time, my perfectionism evolved into mere overachieverism, but the difference between the two is huge. You see, the solution is to focus on the journey and not the results. The journey is where and when you get to be creative, experi- ment, and take risks. As I became more confident in each skill, I relaxed and learned to enjoy the process instead of the goal. Today, I write as much for fun as for profit. I take risks with my writing and can’t wait for people to read it. I know a number of people who have had great ideas for starting a business, but whose perfec- tionism never allowed them to begin. I unde r s t and t h i s . The idea is to start somewhere doing some t h i ng , t hen y o u c a n b u i l d , adjust, grow, tweak, learn, and add on as necessary. In 1997 when I first became a pro- fessional public speaker, I would prac- tice a speech until it was perfectly memorized. I was terrified of making a mistake. It was the actual making of some mistakes that helped me get over my perfectionism. Somehow I didn’t die right there on the platform, and people still enjoyed my presentation. Go figure! Eventually, with each new experience, I became more comfortable in front of an audience; I worried less about fail- ure and kept calm. If I did make a mis- take I could laugh it off. I was enjoying the journey. If you are a perfectionist, the trick is to allow some imperfection into your life a little at a time so you can get com- fortable with it. Like any other addiction, you must wean yourself. Robert Robert is an author, humorist, and innovation consultant. He works with companies that want to be more com- petitive and with people who want to think like innovators. For more information on Robert, visit www.jumpstartyourmeeting.com or contact him via e-mail at admin@ worldwidedrillingresource.com