WorldWide Drilling Resource

The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. Resilience Trumps Resistance Things you can do to snap back from setbacks. On the first of the month, I received an urgent e-mail from a 58-year-old friend asking if I could store some of his prized possessions. I phoned him and said I could, then asked what was going on. He said he’d lost his job, and had run out of money. He went on to say that since he was no longer able pay his rent, he’d taken the last of his money and bought an airplane ticket to Europe where he was going to live with a friend. Other than a few family heirlooms, which he is storing with me and a relative, he is abandoning all of his belongings that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase. It was such a desperate move my first thought, in the wake of actor Robin Williams’ suicide, was he was actually thinking of taking his own life. I demand- ed he prove he was actually going to Europe, so he showed me the printout of his flight plans, and a Eurail pass. I then tried to talk him out of it, even offer- ing the spare room in my house, but he explained he’d waited too long to do anything else. I spent the next couple of days helping him get ready. The economy has caused financial hardship for so many people, the suicide rate among middle-aged men has sky- rocketed. I understand how difficult things can get. Over the past decade, between my divorce and the recession, I’ve suf- fered numerous emotional and financial setbacks. Many times I’ve had to dig deep to find the motivation to keep going. The trick is knowing how to bounce back. As an unknown author once observed, “The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn.” The good news is, resilience can be learned. I’ve learned that adapting to adver- sity and managing stressful times begins with understanding you are not alone. Sadness and emotional pain are more common than you realize. Most people, perhaps because of a fear of embarrass- ment, keep it to themselves. H. Jackson Brown, author of Life's Little Instruction Book notes, “Happiness is not the ab- sence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.” The Greek stoic Epictetus said, "Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." To be resilient, you must change your perspec- tive. I’ve always found it interesting that the Chinese the symbol for “crisis” is the same one they use for “opportunity.” So, if you’re experiencing a crisis, look to find the opportunity. Here are some things I’ve found you can do to change your perspective and begin to accept the changes going on in your life: Talk with someone. It helps to re- cognize that stress affects your mood; and it is better to express your fears than to deny them. Lean on your network of friends and family, and be willing to ac- cept help. Maintaining good relationships with people close to you is important. Take it a step further and get out and make connections with others. Attend support groups, social events, networking groups, faith-based organizations, and civic clubs. I have to frequently remind myself, “Good things happen when I get out of the house.” Practice self- care. Take care of yourself by eating well and exercising. Healthy meals and regular 20-minute walks will do won- ders to keep your m i n d a n d b o d y ready for your next oppo r t un i t y. Do some t h i ng f un - perhaps from your bucket l ist. If you can’t afford that, t ake on a cho r e you’ve been put- ting off. The sense of accomplishment will fortify and ener- gize you. V i s u a l i z e what you want . Then do something small and achiev- able that wi l l give you a sense of accomplishment. Ask, “What is one thing I can do today that will move me toward my goal?” Be flexible. Stay focused on your goals, but be willing to explore different routes for achieving them. As the “Covert Comic” John Alejandro King suggests, “When there's rioting in the streets, use the sidewalk.” Being resilient means not resisting change. George Armstrong Custer said, "It's not howmany times you get knocked down; it's how many times you get back up.” I’ll add that it’s okay to ask for a hand up. Robert Robert is an author, humorist, and innovation consultant. He works with companies that want to be more com- petitive and with people who want to think like innovators. For more information on Robert, visit www.jumpstartyourmeeting.com or contact him via e-mail at michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com 37 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® DECEMBER 2014 0,2+ 675;,4 -57 5;,7 ',(78 /558, -753 +0--,7,49 35+,28 95 -09 >5:7 4,,+8 "(4.04. -753 36 95 36 4*2:+,8 %,/0*2, :36 #9(7904. (99,7> /(7.04. (4+ (4+ % 95 65<,7 &07,-,,+,78 0. 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