WorldWide Drilling Resource

The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. Don’t be an ASS-umer What you think you know is probably wrong. A few months ago, I attended a busi- ness networking event where everyone had a chance to tell about their busi- ness. I noted three people with whom I wanted to talk with further. After the meet- ing, I made it my mission to connect with each of them. I saw one heading for the door, so I caught up with her before she left, all the while keeping my eye on the other two, so I didn’t miss making con- tact with them. As I finished speaking with the first, I met the next person - also as he was leaving. In turn, because I was stationed by the door, I was able to connect with the third as she was leaving too. All in all, I spent about 20-30 minutes convers- ing with them, during which time many people walked past us to exit. Having completed my mission, I headed back into the room to locate the person I came with. As I got back to the middle of the room, a man whom I’d seen a number of times at the group, but had never spoken with before, came up to me and angrily stated, “You don’t like me do you?” I was stunned; I hardly even knew him. Dumbfounded, all I could say was, “Huh?” He then brusquely walked off. The host of the meeting was within earshot, so I looked at him and said, “Do you know what that was all about?” He replied he thought the man was trying to get my attention, but because I was so absorbed in my three conver- sations, he thought I was ignoring him. I felt bad he felt ignored, but I was so intent on meeting those people I never noticed him. He assumed I intentionally disregarded him; and then he assumed I must not like him. I don’t want to assume, but it seems like his own self-worth issues clouded his thinking. I made a mental note to reach out to him at the next meeting. Several years ago, I received an e- mail from a businessman who asked if I would coach him for a speech he had to give. I replied I was available, and we should connect by phone as soon as possible to set up a schedule. Many days passed and I received neither an e-mail nor a phone call from him, so I phoned him. I got his answering serv- ice, so I left him a voice mail. Again I received no reply. So after a few more days, I sent him another e-mail. When I still didn’t hear from him, I assumed he was no longer interested and didn’t have the courtesy to let me know. From there, my mind went to the dark side and I assumed the worst: I wasn’t good enough; he found some- one better than me. This time it was me who was projecting my self-worth fears onto a situation that didn’t warrant it. A few weeks later, he called and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. He explained a family crisis had taken all his time and attention. We then set up a coaching schedule. Through my negative assumptions, I had beaten my- self up over nothing. It’s almost comical to see online arguments f lare up on Facebook as peop l e mak e assumptions abou t t h e me a n i n g o f another person’ s p o s t s . L a t e l y, I n o t i c e d s e v e r a l p e o p l e p o s t i n g memes on Faceboo k with a variation o f t h i s s t a t eme n t : Don’t assume m y pos t s a r e abou t you. However, i f you’ re offended , then it must mea n y o u ’ r e g u i l t y o f something. Don’t assum e y o u k n o w t h e meaning or motiva - t ion of another ’ s actions. If you fin d you r se l f hu r t o r a n g r y f r o m a n assumpt ion, yo u a r e g i v i n g i n t o something you fear . And it is your issue . Now is the time t o examine your fea r and deal di rect l y with it. Believe me, the person you’re making an assumption about hasn’t a clue what you’re thinking either. We’ve all heard the saying: “When you ‘assume,’ you make as ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me’.” Rather than make an assump- tion, try to communicate further. If you need clarification, ask. Just don’t kick your own ass over it. Robert Robert is an author, humorist, and innovation consultant. He works with companies that want to be more com- petitive and with people who want to think like innovators. For more information on Robert, visit www.jumpstartyourmeeting.com or contact him via e-mail at michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com 17 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® JULY 2015 A critical Act was passed by the U.S. Senate on July 17, 1973? Do you know what it was? Page 28 has the answer!