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Yes or No...that is the Dilemma! by Tim Connor “When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.” Lord Falkland Ever said no and later wished you had said yes? How about the reverse - said yes and later wished you had said no? We all do both frequently, and some of us more often than we should. Why? Lots of reasons, but first, what are the consequences of either option? I could go on for pages, but how about a few of the more common con- sequences of saying no, but in hindsight wishing you had said yes: Lost opportunities. The failure to learn an important lesson. Not connecting with or meeting someone new who could add value to your life, career, or business. Missing an adventure that could create a new passion or activity in your life. With the loss of a valuable life lesson needed to be learned, you have just put it off once again into the future. I could go on for hours with conse- quences of saying yes, but in hindsight wishing you had said no, as I have been really guilty here, but I won't divulge all my dirty linen. You have better things to do, but suffice it to say, I share this one with humility, a lot of experience, and the need to develop better approaches to these kinds of situations. So, the consequences of a yes too soon or for the wrong reasons can cause: regret, emotional pain, wasted time and resources, a loss of character; ongoing struggles and conflicts that take time, patience, and surrender to resolve; com- ing across as easy or being manipulated by others, the inner pain of remorse and disappointment; and unexpected and unplanned-for outcomes or results. Why do we say yes? Oh man, this one is huge for many people, but I'll keep it brief. The desire not to hurt others’ feelings. The need to feel accommodat- ing. Low self-esteem, ego needs, arro- gance, and self-righteousness. The need for others’ approval.Away to avoid the emotion of guilt or fear of rejection. Political correct- ness. To avoid conflict. To be liked, loved, and/or appreciated. Now if you are not guilty of any of these, add your own reasons. Why do we say no? There are numer- ous reasons here too. To avoid rejection, fear of making a mistake in some life area, poor self-confidence, self-belief, and/or self-trust; concern we can't handle the future consequences or responsibilities of a yes. The need to maintain control, avoiding being used by others, and the uncertainty that may result, along with our desire to not let this uncertainty derail or control us. One of the biggest causes is our comfort with our routines and activities we have developed and believe are in our short- and long-term best interests. And the answer to the question in the title is... Here are a few to ponder: j Listen to your inner voice. j Listen to your heart. j Don't let fear rule your life. j Ask: Do I need this now? j Clean out your mental filter. j Determine what your past has taught you. j Consult with people you trust. j Spend time in silence, just listen- ing. j Ask: What's the wise thing to do? j Ask: Is this person or decision right or wise for me now? j Ask yourself: Is the timing right? Keep a journal of decisions made and outcomes, and refer to it frequently. Play the movie. In other words, think ahead of all of the potential consequences and outcomes - both positive and neg- ative - and ask yourself if you can han- dle them. Would you want to miss it? And finally, ask what you can learn. Do you have a choice? Are you stuck in the past or future? Keep going...keep asking... In His service, Tim To receive Tim’s weekly FREE motivational booster articles, contact him at www.timconnor.com with “please add me to your free booster e-mail subscriber list” in the subject line. Or contact him via e-mail at michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com WorldWide Drilling Resource ® 16 MAY 2015 &% ! "" * "(%$ ))) (" $( ' & $ %# # " (" $( $ ( " !" !! ! &% ! % ! (" $( & $ $ $ " ! $ $ ! ! $ ! $ # $ $ $