28 MARCH 2021 WorldWide Drilling Resource® The “Idiots” Corner by “Billy Bob Smith” Since I’m 75% Irish, I thought it only appropriate this month, since we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, to talk about a few of my favorite Irish idiots and the stupid things they did that made us shake our heads in wonder . . . but first a couple of my favorite wisdoms. “I once read about the evils of drink, so I gave up reading.” ~ Anonymous (probably someone who is still recovering) “May you be at the gates of Heaven an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!” ~ Irish Proverb “Though wisdom is good in the beginning, it is better at the end.” ~ Irish Proverb Now, how about a few idiots from the past: The last time I was in Ireland on business, I drove from Dublin to Cork for a day of fun. I almost had ten accidents due to their stupid roundabout laws. Everyone kept circling on the wrong side of the road. Oh no . . . I guess it was me on the wrong side. Ever had that experience?? This is one of Ireland’s stupid history stories. John O’Shea, 60, pleaded guilty to drunk driving and being involved in a single-vehicle incident. However, he was given several days by the judge to put his affairs in order and hopefully meet a woman at the Lisdoonvarna matchmaking festival before being charged guilty and losing his license. Living in an extremely isolated part of the country, O’Shea and his legal team argued this sentence would be at a great disadvantage if he was taken off the road, jeopardizing the maintenance of his farm and livelihood. Stating that religion, games, or politics should not be discussed in pubs, Judge James O’Connor asked O’Shea if he had planned to stay single or get married, and inquired if he had family in the neighborhood. He said he was single, so the judge gave him 30 days to find a bride or face the guilty sentence. Dubliners were highly amused and inconvenienced when a pair of swans on the Luas tracks outside of Aviva Stadium delayed rush hour traffic for over a half an hour. What were they doing? Just swanning about on the tracks, without a care in the world for frazzled commuters. The Irish Rail Service even made a movie spoof about the story. Leprechauns or “leath bhrògan” are the cultural symbol of Ireland, with their names translated from “shoemaker”. They were said to roam Ireland before humans, with a unique hat and red hair. It is still said you can find them hanging out in pubs when you have had a bit too much to drink. So if you visit Ireland, stay sober because leprechauns may look friendly, but they are not to be trusted. And finally, I’ll leave you with something positive from my heritage. My father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all lovers of whiskey. After reading many stories about them, I decided I would try and set a new trend for the family that follows me . . . time will tell. Billy Bob Contact him via e-mail to michele@ worldwidedrillingresource.com
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