12 JANUARY 2022 WorldWide Drilling Resource® The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. Here’s How to Keep Victimization from Defining Your Life In recent articles, I’ve written about negative self-talk and core beliefs - both of which led me to start thinking about how being victimized can create a limiting belief. The victim mindset I’m writing about is the result of having experienced trauma, abuse, betrayal of trust, or perhaps a series of adverse occurrences. People who have been severely victimized, suffered tremendous negative consequences, sometimes approach life with true trepidation. Don’t Allow a Bad Situation to Change Your State of Consciousness - If you’ve suffered multiple unfortunate events, it can make you feel like you are stuck in a streak of bad luck or have a dark cloud hanging over you, and more injury and damage is on the way. This is the kind of thinking that led to the formation of Murphy’s Law which states: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” “To stop being a victim, you have to stop thinking like a victim.” ~Asma Naqi Sometimes bad things happen to us that are completely out of our control. I’ve been a victim, so has everyone; how it affects your life will depend on how you perceive it. When I was playing football in high school, my leg was badly broken by another player who violated the rules against clipping. He tackled me from behind and below the knee which broke both the bones in my lower leg. I almost lost my leg. I had two surgeries, was in the hospital for two weeks, after which I spent six months in a cast; plus, I have endured lifelong knee pain. Despite all that, I never blamed the other player; instead I found several benefits. First, it got me honorably out of playing a game I didn’t like (quitting would’ve gotten me ostracized and ridiculed, which is terrifying to teenagers). Second, because I was unable to take Physical Education classes, I was forced to take a Home Economics class in cooking (which at first seemed like more bad luck), but then I met a cute female classmate whom I started dating, and it introduced me to the joy of culinary arts, which has stayed with me to this day. I was laid off from a writing job because the advertising agency lost a major client and couldn’t afford to keep me. At first I was pretty upset, but it motivated me to become self-employed, so I never had to worry about getting fired again. My home was burglarized shortly after moving into a neighborhood I perceived as being safer than my previous one. Instead of blaming the neighborhood, I installed better locks and an alarm system. It also motivated me to convert my carport (which was the vulnerable part of the house) into a home office, which has become my favorite room. Years earlier, in my previous neighborhood, my car while legally parked on the street, was damaged by a hit and run driver in the middle of the night. I wasn’t happy about having to pay the hefty deductible to my insurance company, but then I ended up with a better car. I had a mild injury for which I was prescribed an antibiotic, to which I had a serious adverse reaction which put me in the hospital for a full week and rendered me unable to walk for two months. Rather than see it as bad luck, it motivated me to start eating healthier and working out more. “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~Epictetus Initially, I was pretty upset about all of these events, but rather than let them turn me into a chronic victim, I found the silver linings. There are always silver linings, if you are willing to look for them. Each of these incidents seemed beyond my control, and they were (based on my knowledge at the time), but each one provided a life lesson - that could prevent it from happening again - if I paid attention. An Unchecked Victim Mindset can Lead to Hopelessness - One of the problems of having a victim mindset is it can become self-perpetuating if you aren’t learning from it. Worse, can be the fear of experiencing another ordeal. If it makes you want to hide from life and wrap yourself up in a safety bubble, it can lead to a sense of hopelessness that prevents you from moving forward. If a victim mindset is ruling your life, it is rooted in your perception. Here are some things you can do to prevent developing a victim mindset: 1. Look for any life lessons you can learn from the event; 2. Find the silver linings, and how your life is now better; 3. Take responsibility for what you could’ve done to prevent it, learn from it, and move on; 4. Feel the pain, don’t ignore it - acknowledge it - then move on; 5. Leave the past in the past, dwelling on things you cannot change only leads to depression; 6. Live mindfully, stay in the present; work on your goals and purpose; 7. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, but don’t milk their empathy dry; and 8. Become resilient, and bounce back into life! I’ll close with a quote from Orison Swett Marden, who founded SUCCESS magazine in 1897, “A strong, successful man is not the victim of his environment. He creates favorable conditions. His own inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as he desires. Robert Contact him via e-mail to michele@worldwidedrillingresource.com 302-684-3197 FAX: 302-384-0643 142 Broadkill Rd. • Milton, DE 19968 www.atlantic-screen.com email: atlantic@ce.net Manufacturers of Slotted & Perforated Pipe ranging from ½” to 24” diameter Atlantic Screen & Mfg., Inc. • Well Rehab. 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