39 JANUARY 2022 WorldWide Drilling Resource® The “Idiots” Corner by “Billy Bob Smith” Am I the only one who has never not fulfilled all my New Year’s wishes, plans, or resolutions - or is anyone (everyone) reading this guilty? Come on folks, I’m not the only one in this universe who isn’t guilty so - let me guess - we are all guilty. So, what exactly are resolutions? Well, here’s the formal definition: A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere, but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal, or otherwise improve their life. Here’s mine: When you make a promise to do something involving your own behavior, but for any number of reasons you fail to follow-through. So as we all head into a new year, I thought I would share some of the stupid resolutions friends, family, and even a few strangers have shared with me over the years. - A former wife once told me her resolution for the year was to stop bossing me around every day. Well, want to know how that one worked out? - One of my kids, when they were in their teens, said beginning with the new year they would start being honest with me about everything. It only took 24 hours for that one to crash and burn. - How about a customer who once promised that during the new year they would always pay their monthly fees by the end of each month? Well, took only 30 days for that one to end up in la-la land. - An ex-girlfriend once asked me if she could give me one of my resolutions for the new year. When I said okay, she said, “I want you to resolve to stop talking so much.” So I replied, “If I don’t talk so much, there will be very little conversation between us.” Her response, “That works for me.” My response, “Have a nice life.” - Okay, here’s one of my favorites before I share a couple of the more famous ones: One year when the economy was crashing and burning, my banker who handled my mortgage said they would extend their forgiveness for late payments to 90 days before taking serious action. And on day 89 he called me and said the time was up, get current or, you know. . . the process will begin. When I asked him about what happened to 90 days, he said that day fell on a Sunday, so pay up dude. - My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions. - I don’t have a New Year’s resolution. You don’t need them when you’re perfect. - I will be more tolerant of politicians I disagree with. - Here’s mine for this year - “I will stop writing stupid articles.” Have a safe, healthy, and fun 2022. Life is short, folks - do some stupid stiff once in a while this year. Billy Bob Contact him via e-mail to michele@worldwidedrillingresource.com
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