WorldWide Drilling Resource

31 WorldWide Drilling Resource ® JUNE 2015 The Un-Comfort Zone II by Robert Evans Wilson, Jr. It’s Not About You When someone criticizes you, don’t assume it’s truth. The baseball thudded into the dirt at the batter’s feet, causing a dusty orange cloud as the dry powdery clay splashed over home plate. “Ball Four!” cried the umpire; and the batter took off for first base. The coach sig- naled a time-out to the ump, and walked toward the pitcher’s mound. When he arrived, he held out his hand for the ball and said to my son, “We can’t win, if you can’t throw strikes.” My son walked back to the dugout in frustration. From the bleachers, I watched helplessly, with the agony a parent feels when their child is struggling. Wishing I could console him, but knowing he would be appalled if I tried, I stayed put. Later, he said to me, “I only walked two batters. I don’t think the coach likes me; he lets other pitchers on the teamwalk more people than me before he pulls them out of the game.” He was feeling inade- quate because the coach mostly criticized, and seldom encouraged him. I tried to tell him not to take it personally; but it’s hard to explain to a child, when someone they see as the expert admonishes them, it’s probably not about him, but more likely some other pressure the authority figure is feeling. Fortunately, the next year my son had a coach who regularly praised him, and told him what a good pitcher he was. With this encouragement, he went on to excel. It happens to all of us. When I was a young copywriter working for an adver- tising agency, I asked the creative direc- tor why I was never allowed to work on two of our accounts. I had written copy for all the other accounts, and wanted to work on those two as well. He said, “These are too important for you to work on. Only I can do it.” What I heard was: “You’re not good enough to work on these accounts.” I took it personally. I made themistake of assum- ing it was all about me, when in fact, his statement was all about him and his be- liefs. I believed I could do the work when I asked for it. However, I let his opinion rule my mind; and for a while it rattled my con- fidence in my ability to write ads. I have written before about the power of praise ( More Powerful Than You Know , WWDR October 2008). It is the encour- agement of others that helps us believe in our ability to succeed. If you manage peo- ple, this is where you can help your peo- ple get ahead. When you tell them you believe they can meet their goals, they will believe it too. Depending on outside sources for our confidence or happiness, however, is a recipe for disappointment because they are always uncertain. Instead, we should look within for a more permanent refer- ence. If you aren’t getting the encourage- ment you think you deserve, there are other ways to find a belief in your abilities. In another previous article ( The Main Ingredient , WWDR July 2008), I wrote, to succeed, we need to believe we will. It’s called self-efficacy. It is your belief in your ability - to achieve what you want - that is the biggest part of actually getting there. In addition to encouragement from others, we acquire a sense of self-efficacy in three other ways. The first way is cumu- lative. With each success we achieve, we Wilson cont’d on page 48.